by Jenn Sweezey, Certified Ma Yoga® Instructor
There are two things I have wanted more than anything else in this life: to share my forever with my truest love and to be called “mama”. Life’s twists and turns had plopped me on a path that looked nothing like the one I had always dreamed of. Thankfully, it wasn’t too late for me to realize I didn’t need one of those things in order to have the other.
As I began my fertility journey as a hopeful single mother by choice, I was on a constant search for ways to feel my very best, for you and for me. Additionally, I was also looking for a missing link from a professional standpoint, something that would allow me to maintain a healthy work-life balance for us.
I truly don’t even know how Ma Yoga came up on my radar, being Canadian and having always focused on teaching children’s yoga and mindfulness. Similarly to how much of my life unfolds, I followed a feeling. As I began reading tidbits here and there on the Ma Yoga website, I quickly believed completing the certification track would help me achieve each of my initial goals.
Spoiler alert: navigating the Ma Yoga certification journey provided me with so much more than a few checked boxes.
“Trust the process” has been my mantra for as long as I can remember, but I never imagined it would become so challenging for me to follow through with. Injecting myself with hundreds of needles, experiencing unrecognizable emotions and moods from side effects of required medications, feelings of isolation (and at times even anger) for going it alone, draining my savings for all the out-of-pocket expenses, and working through the deepest heartbreak each time I was left with only one pink line.
Early into my Ma Yoga adventure, I had a Zoom check-in with Jessica. Among other things, we talked about the ups and downs of intrauterine insemination/invitro fertilization (IUI/IVF). Although I no longer remember much of what was discussed, I clearly recall her encouraging me not to hold on too tightly to the outcome of my procedures: “it may work, and it may not”.
Receptivity, one of the main pillars of Ma Yoga, encourages us to be open to receiving guidance from others, from the universe, and from our very own inner wisdom. By softening our edges, we allow ourselves to let go of certainty and the need to have all the answers to the what’s, why’s, how’s, and when’s. Certainly not an easy task, but a worthwhile one to work towards.
Of the many reasons I am thankful for crossing paths with Jessica, I am so deeply grateful she didn’t give up on me. Although my intentions were good, I found myself stumbling along the certification path and unintentionally disconnecting myself from my cohort and the suggested schedule.
My capacity to do the work waxed and waned, dependent upon how well (or not well) things were going on the fertility front. The grace that Jessica always showed me kept me from not only feeling “too” embarrassed to keep picking up where I left off, but also from feeling isolated in another facet of my life.
The friendly nudges and dare I say persistent emails were welcomed and appreciated. Just shy of 2.5 years (eek!) from the commencement of this learning adventure, I can happily say I am Ma Yoga certified.
There are so many reasons why becoming a mom has been the very best thing that has happened to me, but the healthiest change has been my desire to be present without worrying about all the what-ifs. I notice when something excites me and draws me in, and then follow my impulse to determine my next step.
Ma Yoga has truly had such a positive impact on my journey to motherhood. From business venture to pursuing motherhood, to way of life, I am open to receiving.
My wish for you, tiny one, is that you trust that big, beautiful heart of yours. When something lights you up inside, take action, even if just one baby step at a time.
ALL my love,
mama xo
