Lately I’ve been trying to be more careful, mostly because I keep screwing up. First, we flew back from Japan without masks and my husband got Covid. Somehow I avoided it, but since I was born with asthma and I know repeat infections increase the risk of Long Covid, it felt like a close call.
Then, a beautiful antique glass towel holder fell out of its holder in the bathroom. It didn’t break, and I was so relieved. So what did I do? I put it back, even though it felt like it wasn’t being held tightly. Next day, it fell and broke.
That’s when I decided to start being more careful. I started asking myself: what if this breaks, how will I feel? What if my phone falls in the water? I thought. What if my dog gets out and doesn’t come back? What if there’s a carbon monoxide leak and the battery in my alarm is dead?
Needless to say, I was an anxious mess. Always thinking about worst case scenario – while it might be an effective way to protect what you love – creates worse problems. Stress builds.
And when we’re stressed, our bodies naturally cut us off from our deeper knowing, because we’re in to survival mode. So we might even start making choices that put ourselves at more long-term risk.
Since I also recently made a deal with the universe that if I don’t get Covid I will channel my soul for the rest of my life, I took a moment to listen to what the deeper, wiser part of me had to say. I didn’t ask a question, I just got quiet and waited, as if bowing at the feet of my guru.
And she came through super clearly – always a shock, no matter how many times it happens. What I heard was: “come from love, not fear.”
We’ve all heard this before, but I really contemplated how life might be different if in each moment I came from love, not fear. Instead of being afraid of losing everything, what if I’m constantly reconnecting to the love I feel for it all? The love I feel for my breakable things. The love I feel for my phone (yes, I’ll admit it, I do). The love I feel for my dog and my house and my health.
And I started to realize that coming from love would change how my whole day feels. I drink water not because I’m afraid I’ll get dehydrated and get sick and die, but because I love my body, and it’s natural to want to show love when we feel it.
I make my bed because I love the feeling of a clean room, and it actually takes almost no extra time to give myself that – a gift that will last all day.
I protect precious objects because I love them, I exercise because I love to be alive, and I want to keep being alive.
So what does life look like if we are coming from love, not fear?
My guess is at first, it looks the same. We’re acting with care, protecting what we value, doing each action with full and close attention.
And yet I imagine there’d be a fork in the road where coming from love begins to take us deeper into an awareness of what we value.
From there, our choices would begin to change. We might even say yes to things when we’re coming from love that we might have said no to if we were coming from fear.
For instance: “I am afraid no one will sign up so maybe I’ll wait til I have a bigger following to do this workshop,” vs. “I love teaching so I’ll set up a workshop and teach whoever shows up and see what comes from it.”
“I’m afraid I’m getting old so I need to take care of myself and rest a lot” vs. “I love being young so I’m going to exercise and enjoy what my body can do for as long as I can.”
“I’m afraid I won’t have enough” vs. “I love how there’s always more.”
It seems to be playing out this way for me. I have been saying yes a lot, more than I was when each question had fear in it.
I’m doing the videos I’ve been awnting to do on alignment therapy for aches and pains… I’m going on another trip even though I’m afraid of being away from work for so long… and I’m approaching challenging conversations with my hubby focusing on what (and whom) I love.
I am loving the feeling that I am expressing what my soul is here to express, and that I am fulfilling a purpose with my life. I am loving creating channels for that deeper wisdom to flow through, and trusting that it will.
So now I have a new promise for the universe: I will keep putting my discoveries and inspirations out there out of love for them, for myself, and for the world. Maybe someone else will love them, maybe not – but doing this helps me feel bigger than my physical body, more connected to my soul’s purpose.
And I love that.
