I’m not one for giving advice, but if you’re pregnant and reading this, here’s something I hope will be useful; make plans, but don’t make plans.
I know, that sounds ridiculous, but babies will do pretty much what they want, regardless of what you, your partner, your OB or your doula have in mind. At least, this is what happened in my case!
My pregnancy was fantastic; no sickness, few aches, plenty of energy and only a handful of ‘baby brain’ moments (well, that’s my interpretation anyway).
I felt like a baby-carrying fraud for having it so easy. Attending childbirth lessons, I was set on having as natural a birth as possible. My husband, Maurice, was 100% in favor and my yoga practice had prepared my mind and body. Team Poplar could do this child birth thing! But my OB had other ideas.
Years ago I had a number of pesky fibroids removed and as a result my OB mentioned early in the pregnancy that I may need a c-section due to concerns over uterine rupture along the scars during labor. We agreed to talk about it closer to the due date and take it from there. That sounded fair to me. But it all became a little too real at my 36 week check up when my OB made the decision that a c-section was the only way.
I’m not ashamed to say I cried – a lot – in the doctor’s office, in the car, at home, talking to my mum (I’m English – my mum can never be ‘mom’) and pretty much any time I thought about a cesarean delivery. “I’m healthy, I’ve had a great pregnancy, there are no fibroids, there’s nothing wrong….WHY??!!!” I’d wail.
This is where the Ma Yoga family really helped. Jessica put me in touch with Julie Freitas – a very wise childbirth educator who kindly took the time to help me view a caesarean in a different way. It was still a birth, she said, just not the one I envisioned. She also helped me see the process from the point of view of my OB. He was just as invested in my pregnancy as I was.
With a changed perspective, the delivery was scheduled for Thursday September 20th at 4pm, 5 days ahead of baby boy’s due date. Scroll forward to Tuesday September 18th around 3am. I started to experience some cramping, but brushed this off as Braxton Hicks contractions. I got up to grab my phone as the cramping grew more intense and regular. At 4am I poked hubby in the ribs and he started tracking the contractions on his phone (gotta love those phone apps!) By 6am, the contractions were between 5-7 minutes apart.
It was time to call my OB as this was clearly more than Braxton Hicks – this was the start of labor! There was no grand dash to labor and delivery. I showered, dressed, did a lap around the apartment, double checked my hospital paperwork, grabbed my bag and off we went. I couldn’t believe that the next time I walked through the door, our son would be with us.
By 8.30am we were sitting in a hospital room with beeping monitors and tubes being inserted in places I would have preferred to have been knocked out for, but surgery prep is surgery prep and you just have to roll with it. Thankfully my husband has a great sense of humor, so we killed the time talking about mindless things and chatting with the nurse – all while the contractions continued.
Around 10am my OB came in and checked the contractions. Still regular, still painful and by this point, I was grateful I had the presence of mind to remember to breathe and relax. There was also a small part of me that was thankful this pain would be over very soon. By 12 noon, I was being wheeled into the OR for the epidural. It was pretty painless, but feeling your legs slowly going numb is bizarre.
I made jokes with the OR staff – I was due to go for a pedicure that day, and once I was tipped back on the gurney, I could see my less than pedi-perfect toes (yes, I am calling myself out on the foot front). Why hadn’t I gone on Monday? Not the most important thing to worry about when you’re about to give birth, but it’s a random memory that sticks out from the day.
The room seemed quiet once the curtain went up -a blue sheet the saves you from seeing your insides on the outside — although be warned, some hospitals have a mirror on the ceiling that runs the length of the operating table. If you’re so inclined, you can watch as the surgeons work on you. I preferred to look at my hubby.
The anesthesia made me nauseous, then the back of my head felt as though it was about to explode.
I was so transfixed on the headache, that I didn’t notice when the incision was made. Just a few minutes later, my insides felt light. I could breathe fully and there was room for everything to move freely again. My baby boy’s cries soon filled the room – the best and most joyful sound I have ever heard! The cord was cut, little one was checked and soon our little burrito wrapped bundle was with us on the other side of the curtain.
There were more tears, but happy ones this time. Today Ezra’s two weeks old and we couldn’t imagine life without him. We were released from hospital after 3 days and he continues to be a chilled out little guy. Ezra didn’t enter the world the way we planned or on the day the OB scheduled, but he came when he was ready – which was right on time. C-sections are not what many of us dream about, but don’t be disheartened if medical circumstances mean you have to have one. Once your baby is here, none of it will matter.
Enjoy your journey ahead!
