What makes a successful birth? For me,
#1 is that mama and baby are healthy and fine.
#2, mama was prepared. She had access to her inner resources, she understand what was happening, she even knew all the pro’s and con’s of all the choices so she could participate fully in them.
#3 mama felt supported. Labor is possibly the most vulnerable experience we can have. When we feel held, nurtured, and surrounded by love, we can open up and trust. When we feel isolated and disrespected, we can have wounds that need healing later.
This is why creating a supportive team is so essential. It’s never too late to change your team if you get a sense that someone is not fully aligned with your deepest intentions.
The most important member of your team will be your OB or midwife. They are very powerful and have a lot of affect on the way things go. Here are some questions to ask, to make sure you feel comfortable now.
Because labor magnifies everything. If you have a slight sense of discomfort now, chances are, it’ll be a big thing during labor.
Again, it’s never too late to change, but hopefully it will just open up healthy communication between you!
1. How many ultrasounds will you do if everything stays within normal limits? (since we don’t know the affects on the baby of these powerful vibrations, some people are choosing to opt out or limit ultrasounds)
2. How long can I go past my due date before induction? (2 weeks with fetal assessment)
3. Will I need an intravenous drip (IV) throughout labor (only if your beta strip test is positive or you want medication)
4. What are your feelings of birth with and without anesthesia? (I will support you in either choice)
5. If my water bag breaks, how soon do I need to go to the hospital if the fluid is clear? (24 hours)
6. If I choose to use epidural anesthesia, how long can I push for before a Caesarian birth is performed? (4 hours)
7. Will I need an episiotomy? (only if necessary)
8. When do you arrive at the hospital? (6-9 centimeters)
9. Will you be going out of town near my due date? (hopefully not, and if it’s at all possible, meet with partners).
10. Can I walk around and change positions during labor, and even get in the shower?
and one free bonus question:
Can our baby be skin-to-skin with me right away, and stay with me in the room the entire time after delivery?
If you get answers you love to hear, then trust your crew and enjoy the ride.
If you get some answers that raise some yellow flags, don’t panic. Talk about it with other birth support people – your doula, your birth class teacher, and your partner. Remember: educate and meditate. And then do feels right for you and your family.
Thank you for the questions and the inspiration – Julie Freitas, Birth Educator and amazing mom – who changed doctors at 38 weeks and had her baby at home with a midwife. In the 1970’s.
