I teach people how to align physically, mentally, energetically and even spiritually with their highest, most powerful, wise and nurturing Self.
In fact, I created a whole school of yoga around it – using birth as my guru, realizing that we are all here to birth something into the world, using the five natural elements as a guide to all that we are and can be.
I practice meditation and breathing and I’m grateful to have had many moments of feeling that the universe is supporting me and my intention to serve in inexplicable ways.
But I had an experience the other day that helped me realize I was missing something the whole time.
It came out of the blue and suddenly things became so much clearer, even what I’ve been saying for years suddenly had a deeper meaning.
Just like that.
Sadly, I didn’t get an understanding of everyone else.
I don’t claim to know who you are or why you are here.
We all have different spiritual beliefs, and I don’t think I discovered one that’s better than another.
But for me, my path has led me to this moment where I finally feel clear about who I am and what I’m all about.
And I want to try to share it with you in case it’s helpful.
Clue #1: Channeling
I’ve always loved The Long Island Medium. Theresa Caputo with her big hair walks around giving random readings in deli’s and hair salons. Someone’s always receiving a healing message and crying – especially big, skeptical firemen and construction workers.
I went through a phase where I’d watch her and wonder why I liked her so much. I’m not sure I believe in spirits hanging around sending messages, but I love the idea and I love how happy it makes people to hear exactly what they needed to hear, so they could forgive themselves and their loved ones.
But to me, my rapt attention was more. I felt like I was looking for something. To me, I seemed like I was being given clues and I was examining them with all I had but still not getting it.
I imagined myself sometimes like a little rat in a cage with a scientist in a white coat standing over me, saying “Learn, dammit! Learn!”
What was I supposed to be learning from Theresa Caputo? I didn’t know. I assumed it was just something like: let yourself have your gifts, and offer them to the world, no matter what. Be confident, be weird, have big hair if you want, help people heal
Clue #2: Struggle
I don’t believe life is suffering. When I feel at my most authentic and heightened, I am not working through struggle. There’s a flow that feels just the opposite – like I am being supported in my efforts.
Yet I’ve been struggling lately. I have so many things I want to do, I feel so inspired, and yet there’s this low-level panic about getting it all done. It’s hard to relax and have fun when I’m just worrying about the time.
In alignment-based yoga, we teach that the idea of relaxing and letting go is not beneficial in a strengthening pose, or even a flow. We want to use our muscles, create boundaries, and work. And when we do, a current of energy can flow through, like a river with strong banks, empowering and supporting us.
I was busy creating the boundaries, but not paying attention as much to the moments when things were flowing through me. Until…
Clue #3: Flow
I was writing a blog, like this one. My goal is two blogs a week, so I can publish them as a book soon. I found myself in a place of self-awareness where I was noticing my thoughts, as they made their way down to my hands to type words.
I noticed that there was this general awareness of what I was going to say – like a voice, except I couldn’t hear it in my head, but it was there none-the-less, and I could follow what it was saying by typing.
And then there was my brain. It forced its way in. It gave me “better” words to use, but then I’d have to change the sentence to fit… it told me what I was writing wasn’t quite it, and I should re-write.
I noticed them as two distinct ways of writing. The brain voice came in fits and starts, and seemed to be more surface level.
The flow one seemed to come from the depths of the infinite universe within. And as I shifted my focus to it, and began typing what I “heard”, I realized I was doing something very familiar, something I was fascinated seeing in Theresa Caputo. Following, listening, relaying: channeling.
Instead of writing, I was being a receiver. We’ve all experienced this before. We’ve all heard of this before. Writers don’t get to decide what they write.
But what I never let myself think about was: who are we receiving from? Who is deciding?
But suddenly, completely, I finally understood.
I was channeling what I’ve been calling my soul.
My soul, my spirit, my higher Self – whatever you choose to call it – whatever part of me that chose to be in this body, and will be around long after this body is gone.
I believe our souls chose to be embodied purely for the fun of it. Like the way a magician binds himself up to see if he can get out. Or a game of hide-and-seek, to see if we can find our people.
The game is this: let’s go to earth, have amnesia, have all sorts of physical and mental limits, and see if we can remember… remember that we’re bigger than all the stuff and business and drama of life. Remember our connection each other. Remember love and trust and faith and power and serving each other and the joy that brings.
Remember that we have plenty of lifetimes to fulfill our purpose, so we don’t have to rush or fear not finishing.
Remember that we are all spirits in these bodies, and that being able to experience the truth of our souls is the greatest gift of being here on this earth.
Alignment suddenly means more to me than actions we take to step into our greatest possibilities.
Even more than just aligning with prana.
Alignment means channeling my soul, in each moment, so that I can experience myself in this body, this world, as a soul.