The idea of “trust” gets bandied about a lot in popular spirituality. “Trust the universe” or “Trust it’s going to work out perfectly”. This is what people said to me when I was in the stressful process of finding a kindergarten for my daughter. This is what people said to me when I was trying to get pregnant. This is what people said when I was worried my daughter was going to have a head twice the normal size.
I found it confusing and annoying, and continued with my back up plans to move to a different city with better schools, look in to adoption, and join a support group for moms with large-headed children.
Truth is, they were right. Things actually did work out perfectly. But I was still confused.
Unless you believe in some force outside of ourselves that’s pulling the strings (I don’t), I think it’s ridiculous to think things will work out for the best if you just set your intention and align with it.
I don’t have to go in to all the examples that the path to motherhood and beyond can be full of raw, primal, not pretty, intense, sometimes scary and super sad energy. I’ll go ahead and say it: sometimes our babies die, and it doesn’t matter if they’re 10 weeks or 10 years a part of us dies too.
So, then what should we trust in? Because the opposite of trust is suspicion, even anxiety, about the future. And this isn’t good for us, for our baby, for any one around us.
I finally got clear on this concept by listening to Evolutionary Enlightenment teacher, Craig Hamilton, who said: we can choose to trust in the fullness of who we are. We can choose to trust in the idea that each of us is an embodiment of the Divine Feminine.
This energy, as powerful as a waterfall, as determined as a plant figuring out how to grow through cracks in the sidewalk, as wise as a mama bird building its nest, as nurturing as a penguin standing over its cold baby for months… this energy is US.
This is what we can trust in, absolutely, always. That whatever happens, most of which is way beyond our control, we will find in that future moment that we have all the wisdom, the power, and the sweet nurturing energy to handle whatever it is with grace, with ease, and even with an appreciation of its gifts.
How to access all this? We just have to trust that it’s there, within us.
So if you are on this path to motherhood, you have a million things to worry about: tests, outcomes, how your life will change, whether you are enough for it all… it’s not about trusting that everything’s going to work out as we hope it will. It might not. But we can trust that even if it doesn’t, we ARE the Divine, with all that we need right there inside of us.
And that’s something I can trust in.