The other day I was in a restaurant with a mom friend. There were plenty of tables and lots of noise, so we put our kids at one and sat at a different table to talk.
But I soon realized that wasn’t going to happen.
Instead of enjoying our grownup time, my friend kept calling over to her kids to behave – “sit properly”, “eat your chicken”, “don’t make a mess”.
She actually noticed this in herself, and admitted that she often worries about what people will think about her kids.
She said she rarely brings them to restaurants and so they don’t know how to behave.
I asked her to take a good look at them with me. I told her what I saw were beautiful and playful kids, not mature grown-ups. Yes, they are putting their ice on a plate, but so what?
And it got me thinking – what if our kids were not a reflection of us at all?
What if our job is to simply give them opportunities to follow their own desires?
What if we actually can’t mold them to deserve the approval of the judgmental strangers we imagine to be everywhere, but instead, we can simply see who they are and help them feel good being themselves?
What if – besides helping them see the potential consequences of their actions we let them enjoy being who they are? Now, I’m not saying let them run wild, but as long as they aren’t disturbing anyone around them than perhaps we can let go of caring what others might be thinking.
What if good behavior comes from the pleasure and pride they’ve experienced from being themselves in the world, rather than from our disapproval and / or approval?
In yoga, each of us is considered an expression of the divine feminine, or consciousness.
What if our job as moms is simply to look for their playful, free, intelligent essence and help them feel safe and loved and happy enough to enjoy it as it flows through?
Imagine the conversations we could start and actually finish with our friends.
And what if not only are we supposed to love the essence of our children, in whatever form it’s arises, but our other job is to do that for within our Selves?
