A birth doula is someone who is there for you throughout your birth, creating a supportive, safe space for you to do your work of labor.
A birth doula can be anyone who has some knowledge about birth, and you believe will help you feel calm and nurtured in this most vulnerable time.
Maybe it’s your mom, or your sister – but most often birth doulas are trained and experienced so they can help you understand what’s happening, every step of the way.
Whether you are wanting a birth totally free of interventions, a c-section, or anything in between, a birth doula is someone who will be there long before birth, all the way through and even afterward to help you figure out what you want for your birth, and help you make it happen.
You’ll remember your birth forever. It’s your body, your baby, and your birth and no one else can decide what is best for you.
Birth doulas are trained to help you figure out the right options for you long in advance, and then provide you with tools – anything from focus objects to suggestions for specific movements with your body to massage – that will help your vision become your birth story.
If you are having your baby in a hospital, it’s even more important to consider a birth doula. Nurses are given so much work that often they cannot be there with you for longer than it takes to check your vitals.
It’s easy to feel like a patient at a hospital, where you give your power over to the medical staff.
But with birth, this is the last thing you want to do. Birth doulas will help you stay connected to your body’s power and wisdom, so you can bring your baby into the world in the most meaningful, beautiful way for you.
#1: Research Birth Doulas in Your Area
Talk to friends and family, ask your healthcare provider and Google birth doulas.
If you’re on a budget, reach out to birth doula training programs near you. Birth doulas need a certain number of hours before they can start charging real fees, so you can get someone who may not be very experienced, but will be trained and probably very enthusiastic to be there with and for you, every step of the way.
#2: Meet with Three Birth Doulas
Especially if your partner isn’t sure they want someone else around, make sure to meet with multiple birth doulas.
They will share about their background and where they’re coming from, and what they have in their “bag of tricks.”
Maybe most of all, you’ll experience what it feels like to be together as a team. Birth doulas are trained to help partners understand how to help you, so hopefully your partner will realize in these meetings that there’s a lot less pressure on them if there’s a birth doula around.
With a birth doula, partners can relax and have their own emotional experience, rather than stress about how to be a good birth coach.
And they can even run down for a sandwich and know you’re in good hands.
#3: How Experienced is the Birth Doula?
It’s not just about how births the birth doula may have been at.
Ask her how they went, what the mom-to-be wanted, and how she helped her make that happen.
Discuss the specific services
the doula provides during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum.
Some doulas offer additional support such as prenatal education, birth plan assistance, aromatherapy, massage and postpartum care.
#4: Is the Birth Doula Compatible with You (and Your Partner)?
Does it feel like you could all work well together? This is important, but…
Remember, it’s YOUR birth.
You will remember it forever, and the little things will become the big things in your birth story.
Notice her attitude toward the births she’s talking about.
Does she seem to have a reference for where and how the births happen?
Or is she open to how you might want to do yours?
Is she attentive and respectful of your choices?
Sense her energy – does it make you feel calm and grounded? How does it feel to be a team with her?
How active or passive is she in terms of taking charge? Some doulas will lead the way, helping you move forward every moment.
Others will sit back, waiting to step in when you need her.
It’s all about what YOU feel you want in a birth doula.
#5: Is There a Back-up Birth Doula?
If there’s a chance she’ll be at another birth or away, does she work with another birth doula whom you could meet in advance just in case?
Ensure that you feel confident in their backup birth doula or support system.
#6: What are Her Fees?
Clarify the doula’s fees, payment schedule, and what services are included in their package.
Review the contract carefully to ensure that you understand all terms and conditions.
#7: References
Ask if you can talk to any previous clients. This is so helpful as you will also learn a lot about what you can expect from your birth doula in general, and her specifically.
At Ma Yoga we like to say “educate and meditate.”
Once you’ve done all these steps and gotten the information, take some time.
Empty out all the expectations and assumptions. And then sense – who do you feel drawn to, who do you want there.
See what harmonizes most with your desires for your birth.
Remember that birth is an intimate experience and it may be very long.
Choosing the right birth doula can make the difference between looking back and wondering what happened, and having a life-long feeling of being nurtured and empowered, every time you remember your birth.
Trust your “Inner GPS”…
For guidance on finding your Inner GPS – book a free live, customized prenatal yoga session with an expert, caring Ma Yoga teacher.
