When we meditate – whether we have been taught to use a mantra, to focus on the breath, or just to try and become as spacious as we can – we come closer to the infinite part of us.
This part, also called the Universal part, the transcendent Self, and the ground of being, as well as lots of other names (God, the divine, essence, etc.), gives us a sweet experience: it is pleasant to be there.
Meditation for moms helps us as we try and let go of our worries for the moment; we rest into the back of our body and we let the world pass by.
I used to think the point was to try to bring this pleasant equanimity back into my life: if I were successful at it, I would start saying “oh, either way is good,” or “oh, that’s ok if the project doesn’t happen, I’m learning so much…” and no matter what happened, life would be pleasant.
That never happened. Thankfully, I had good teachers who told me it was never going to happen. For me, life is about making choices that have consequences. This is the definition of Karma: the law of cause and effect.
So, why do we make choices with negative effects? 1.) we are not yet sensitive or aware enough to realize what the effect will be, or 2.) we have covered up our innate desire to feel deeply nourished so we are choosing momentary pleasure instead.
Positive Effects of Meditation for Moms
When we become a parent, these choices have even greater affect, not just on us but also on our child. They are not just learning from what we say, of course; they are also learning how to move subconsciously from how we move; they learn how to breathe, what a normal daily rhythm looks like; and all sorts of other things by osmosis.
One of the reasons that the path to motherhood and beyond is so potent is that sometimes for the first time in our lives, we have a motivation to make positive choices that are stronger than the resistance our ego will always put up to change.
And that’s the point of meditation and meditation for moms. When we take time out of life to try and detach from our desires – and we connect to the self that knows that we’ll be OK with any outcome – we uncover the deep nurturing energy within ourselves, and we can be more sensitive and aware as we make choices that will affect our children for their whole lives.
Sensitive to what, you may be wondering. To the universal qualities of truth, beauty, and goodness when they arise. We will see more goodness in one choice over another. We will be attracted to beauty that opens us up and takes us out of our ego-based fears. We will know our truth when we hear it.
Of course, meditation for moms only takes us so far. We become more open to our intuition, our deepest intentions, our awareness – whether it’s deciding whether or not to have a doula, sensing its time to stop breastfeeding, or figuring out whether to sleep train.
The Power Twins: Meditation and Yoga
Let’s say it’s all going to be hard: to get the doula you might have to do some convincing. To start weaning, you may have to do some negotiating with both baby and yourself. To sleep train you may wait until baby can understand the word “no,” or you may let her cry. We need strength – inner, powerful strength – to make the choices that are right for us.
That’s where yoga comes in. If meditation makes us more aware of the right choice for us, yoga helps us actually stand strong in that choice, even when it’s hard. Yoga builds inner strength by inviting us to bring the steady, stable, earthy qualities from the feet into the core and root back down. We feel supported in our strong stance.
And while standing in Mountain Pose is hard, we do it anyway – every part of us engaged – to learn how to step into our center; to be unyielding about our decision to make choices from our radar for truth, beauty, and goodness that lies at the core our being.
Meditation and yoga will help you make the choices you want to make and help you to become the Mama you want to be.
When I think I screwed something up with my kid, my mom always reminds me: “there’s very little you can do to your child that can’t be undone with some effort and time.” But who wants to un-do bad choices? Who has the time? Who wants to direct our efforts there?
Wouldn’t it be nice to get it right the first time? Each choice we make increases the goodness, beauty, and truth for us and our family? See you on the mat…